Local filmmaker returns to Dimboola

Where do I start... I was flying with my filmmaking career, always doing something. I was never idle, always very busy and had multiple projects going on at the time.

Around 2014-2015 was the peak or the pinnacle of my filmmaking career. I was in the middle of working on my next major Feature Film project entitled Project Snap Factory, which I shot up and around places like Bendigo, Gisborne and Sunbury. I also had a few other projects going on in the background, but I was always busy and never stopped working.

Travelling to and from various locations around Victoria was all part of the job, and then one cold day out of the blue, everything went down the drain - I crashed and burned hard.

Everything came to a grinding halt; the brakes came on, and that was it - locked me up and threw away the key. It got so bad that I couldn’t even pick up a pen and paper to write. It shut me down completely.

I then went about some of the most challenging years of my life to fight. I had to seek professional help to deal with the problems I now faced. I had severe anxiety and depression and was severely burnt out, which was not fun. Uncontrollable spasms’ of crying for no particular reason whatsoever, suicidal thoughts, which was unlike me, deep dark depression set in and would not go away - I had finally hit the lowest point of my life - guaranteed rock bottom. I remember standing outside a petrol station on my way back home after a trip with my partner and just stopping in the middle near my car. I felt like a man defeated - that was the lowest point of my life - everything stopped.

On top of that, I was diagnosed with severe and chronic OCD Disorder, which resulted from trying to constantly outdo myself every single time due to many attempts to gain the recognition I so badly wanted. Living with this OCD every day with everything I do is not fun, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy as it impacted my entire life - everything I now do is related to some form of OCD connected to it, which is a pain. As a result, I now have to live with it for the rest of my life, but there are ways of managing it, so I still somewhat have a semi-normal life.

I’ve learnt a lot and got a lot of help for this to try and better myself, and I’m still learning new things and techniques. But please note that I am miles better than where I was at the time, all due to patience, acceptance, and understanding. It has taken me a very long time to try and get back on my feet again.

I learnt a huge life lesson from all this: to always take the time for yourself and to look after yourself.

With my current situation, I didn’t give myself the right amount of quality time I needed to be the best that I could be with myself. I pushed it deep down, focused strictly on getting ahead, and didn’t give myself the time I needed. As a result, I’m paying for it now in a big way. I neglected and abused myself and my body, something shocking, and I think that’s another factor contributing to my getting sick. You need to look after yourself now; otherwise, you will pay the price later on down the track - I recognise that now.

Mental Health is no joke - it is a very serious thing, and people need to start discussing it more seriously. I, for one, am guilty of this, considering I know people with mental illness, but because I was too busy running, I didn’t have the time or even stop to consider and have the compassion for people with it.

I used to push it deep down and say come on, deal with it - you haven’t got time to be sick until it happened to me one day. I have more insight and respect for it now I have it. It can happen to anyone at any time regardless of if you think you are healthy and nothing can stop you - that’s how I felt at the time and then all of a sudden Boom it happened to me I have more of an understanding now than I did in the past that’s for sure.

I’m currently living in Dimboola once again on my dad’s farmhouse to focus better on work. I was living up in Bendigo for many years, and due to the hectic lifestyle, it is getting really busy now, so I decided to move back to Dimboola to the farm for clarity purposes and to focus on getting better and maybe finally get back to doing what I love, which is creating the film projects I set out to achieve in peace and harmony.

Bendigo is super busy now, and there are so many distractions I cannot work up there. I’m finding since I moved back down to Dimboola, I am getting so much more work done, which is a great thing, so all this stuff I’ve been building up to over the years will finally see the light of day, which brings a huge smile to my face. I cannot wait to share all I have been working on over the past ten or so years. I cannot wait as it will be like a huge weight off my shoulders for once.

I am working on the Shilling Entertainment Official Website and plan to have this out by the end of the year so that next year, I can dedicate and focus most of my time working on trying to knock some of these film projects out. This will tie up the last of the miscellaneous jobs getting ready for the future of film titles.

It has been a long time in the making, but I am confident and optimistic that things will go very well as I have paid the current price of my health and buried my absolute soul into it all. I cannot get any better than what I currently have now. Another reason why it’s also taken me a long time is I want to get it done right, so there’s no going back. I can then focus all my attention on progressively getting more stuff done in terms of film. I kind of got sick to death of going back year after year, going over all my stuff again and again, trying to get it right.

In June/July of this year, one of the major jobs that I helped work on and completed with the help of a graphic designer was the updated and renewed version of our current company logo. To me, this was a big thing as that was one of the very first pieces of work I managed to get done and out with the help of a graphic designer, which helped me a lot and took quite a deal of pressure off me, so I’m happy about that.

Things can only look up and get better from here on in. There’s a very powerful message in all this. It has taken me a very long time to work it all out, but I believe I’ve crossed that threshold. Things can only get better, and there is light at the end of the tunnel, and there’s always something to look forward to, even if it’s just that little thing that one step at a time. Try and see the positives in things rather than the negatives. I know it’s easier said than done. Remember that everything happens for a reason - well, that’s how I think about it anyway. You need to try and make sense of it somehow, and that’s the best you can do in the given time frame. Things get much better, even if it’s hard to see at the given time frame. But the days do get a lot better, but just be prepared that you will have a lot of ups and downs in the process before things get a lot better and settle.

It is just one step at a time, and Patience is a big key factor in getting yourself better. You just need to give yourself the time to heal properly and eliminate pressure. Pressure is a big one - don’t run to it and do what you need to do each day in order to get better and stronger in yourself you can do it. I’m living proof that you must give yourself the time to heal. Your friends and family are so important - you need a good support system behind you. Without that support, it makes things more difficult, and you will struggle, so for those out there who are healthy and see someone struggling, please be nice, as it goes a long way in helping. Keep an open mind and have understanding.

Family and friends are everything to keeping strong, and remember that each day you take, even if you focus on one little thing a day, the more you do of it, the stronger you become. Don’t give up or quit; it takes time - you will get through all this.

I feel like the main character in my latest upcoming film Snap Factory. Michael was going through his own set of trials, just as I was going through mine, and this is why I think Snap Factory, when released, will have a significant impact because I lived it.

This film has a lot of power and meaning - it’s about not giving up when the world and everything is stacked against you.

Keep going strong, and don’t give up. God Bless.

Luke Launer
Writer/Producer/Director
Shilling Entertainment